[wearing: cotton on shirt, colette bag, topman navy bomber]
It's been nine months since I last posted anything on this blog, and to be honest, I'm not sorry. Life gets ahead of all us and captures us in the worst light possible. It tears you down just as you reach the finish line and brings you back to the very place you started -- sometimes, further back. But the beauty of that--despite the lack of beauty in such an image--is the fact that we're not doing it alone. Sometimes we may think we have to do it all by ourselves, so not to burden others, and though that's wrong, it's not completely true. We are social beings. Our God is a relational God and it is part of our nature for us to desire and require for our survival to be in relationship with others. Whether it be platonic or more.
I've always had walls. If you can just imagine a massive rock wall surrounding my inner most thoughts - that's me. It takes a while for me to warm up to someone and actually start trusting them - it can take weeks, months, even years. But mind you, the moment I do finally trust them, I become... loyal, if you will. Comfort beckons every time I am with this person. I begin to open up, not everything, of course, but gradually I begin to reveal what I truly feel and what I'm really thinking.
All I'm saying is: living life caring only about yourself and always trying to keep your problems to yourself doesn't make you a strong person. Sure, there are things, as a person and as a woman, that I am proud to say I can do by myself, definitely. But there are certainly many more important aspects of life that require you to let people in and let them help you, or at the very least just be with you when life gets the best of you.
That. That is what makes you strong. Trusting others and being vulnerable to another - that's the only way we can ever be strong. Don't get me wrong though, it's not going to be easy to open up, especially if you're naturally very closed. But over time, it'll get easier. Over time, you'll realise that life is better best when lived together.
That's all for today. I do hope this is encouraging in some way, but let's be honest, I just wanted to get this out of my system.
Have a lovely day wherever you may be in this world!
ex oh,
CITRA
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